Whatever will be will be, the futures not ours to see

What is it about a person that makes us desire them so much? I have been asking myself that question over and over again since I began to take interest in the male anatomy. But recently I have been wandering that exact same statement all the time.


So what is it? I honestly have no idea, but I do know that it can taint your perspectives on other males/females for years to come. I am a perfect example of this “tainted lust”. With my search for the PERFECT sexual and emotional partner, I have come up on the short side of the wish bone. Either a guy is WAY too into just sex, or for some reason most of them are just too sensitive and emotional for me. Do not get me wrong, I think emotion is a fantastic thing, (I am queen of emotions, with crying over everything) but when I start to feel like I am living in a soap opera I cannot help myself from laughing at the guy; sorry.


Believe you me I do know exactly what guy it is that has ruined the chances of others and his name is……well I am not going to give the real name , so we will call him “M”. I met him 3 years ago while I was in Germany for the summer. With his sexy accent, dark hair, and amazing kissing skills he was almost perfect. He was the first boy I ever did anything sexual with and since the day that I left I have been counting down the days until I could wrap my arms and legs around him once again!


Coming back to the reality of my life in Canada I just could not lower my expectations with any other guy. I mean come on, who can really compete with a sexy foreigner in a summer fling? I have tried, boy have I tried! I mean I was even in bed with this one guy and he was going on and on about how sexy I was and how he wanted to go down on me and the first thing out of my mouth was how amazing M was at oral. Yes I actually started talking about another guy while with one guy. The weird thing was that this did not seem to bother him…

Anyway I have kept in contact with M over the past three years and I am beyond excited to get to see him again in less than three months! I will get to spend my time with what seems like an amazing family who has generously offered me to stay in their home and work as Au Pair. As well I will be able to see the same boy who has become the object of my desire.


Maybe he will not turn out to be all I imagine or maybe he will. I am going to keep my options open on that one. On one end I could finally be over him and on another we could have an amazing passionate time; who knows! All I know is that I will be wearing the sexiest bra and panties I own when I see him next!

-Katie